gigglemonster:

P → Phil Dunphy [asked by epigraphs]

In nature, fathers are known to eat their young. Is it because they’re delicious? No. It’s because they want to give their female… bear, giraffe, what have you… the honeymoon they never had. Just to be clear: I don’t condone eating your kids, although I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.

pdunphy:

Phil: I’m a cool dad. That’s my thang. I’m hip. I surf the web, I text L-O-L, Laugh Out Loud, O-M-G, Oh My God, W-T-F, Why The Face. I know all the dances to High School Musical, so…